Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Curiosity or Nosiness or the Need to be Better?

I'm not one to talk to strangers. Maybe that lesson that Mom taught me sunk in a little too much. Maybe I am just shy. I just don't initiate conversation with people I don't know. Now that we have Baby, it seems everyone is so eager to talk to us. This actually started while we were expecting. People feel like they can ask you anything! When I was pregnant, it was all about "when are you due?" or "how's the morning sickness?" or "what cravings do you have?" Then, of course, I get a little short with people asking you questions that are none of your business. They just nod and respond that it's just the hormones. No, it's not! I don't know you. Go away. Hm. Maybe the reason I don't talk to strangers is just that I don't like people.

Anyway, since Baby came, people haven't stopped talking to me. I can understand that they can't hold back. I mean, she is the most adorable baby ever. The talking just drive me nuts. "How old is she?" "How much does she weigh?" "You guys must be so tired." "You must miss all the things you've had to give up."

I partially think people want you to have as difficult of a time as they had when raising their insane children. Truthfully, Baby is a really good baby. Since her second week home, she slept 4-5 hours a night. During the last month or two, she's been sleeping 6-8 hours or more. Lately, she hasn't napped as much and ends up sleeping 9 hours at night. As for sacrificing things for Baby, we haven't had to give up much. We've given up just running out anywhere. A quick trip to the grocery store doesn't exist anymore because there's the bundling up the baby, getting the diaper bag, putting in the car seat, etc. However, as far as entertainment goes, Husband went on his annual Vegas trip with the boys and went to a couple of out-of-state hockey games. I've gone to the movies and to a concert. I'd say we have more fun sharing activities with her than we miss doing adult-only activities. Okay, "adult activities" sounded dirty, but you know what I mean.

As a parent, I'm trying so hard not to fall into the competitiveness. It seems there will always be kids who are going to roll over first, crawl first, sleep longer, be better in the car, etc. I'm also trying not to judge other parents. We breastfeed as I mentioned in another entry, but I don't think women are bad parents if they choose not to. Plus, I have to admit that I don't exclusively breastfeed either. I'm not 100% into the family bed, but I'm not going to criticize families who do share that philosophy. I've been known to nap with Baby. On the flip side, I already know I'm not a perfect parent and I'm totally winging it. I don't need other mothers telling me I'm horrible in tone or words.

I'm beginning to wonder if others ask questions about your baby just so they can judge and make themselves feel better. If that's the case, it just makes me like other people less.


Naomi said...

I think part of the questions are because people are innately curious. Another part is because we do judge. It's another innate part of us, I believe. But you know what, we do the best we can with who we are and what we've been given and life goes on.

As for the talking thing, I'm not good in a crowd. Even if I know everyone, I tend to gravitate toward one or two people. I get shy. Strangers don't bother me as much, but when I'm in my own head (which is often) I don't want to talk to anyone. I'm introverted that way. It comes off as rude, I know, but oh well.